Engineers VS Lawyers

Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers bought a ticket while the three engineers bought only one ticket.

“How can the three of you travel on one ticket?” asked a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answered an engineer.

Aboard the train the lawyers took their respective seats while all three engineers crammed into the restroom and squeezed the door behind them.

A Pencil-Eraser Moment

One day, a conversation between a pencil and an eraser took place. A moment which reminds me of my parents love.

Pencil: I'm sorry, eraser.
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time you do it.
Eraser:  That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate to see you sad.

Parents are like the eraser whereas we, children are the pencil. Parents will always be there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way they get hurt, and become smaller.

Take care of your parents and treat them with kindness. Because soon, you will be an eraser too.

Remember to KISS

As you go through life, don't forget to KISS (Keep It Simple STUPID!) Don't complicate your life, your relationships, your lifestyle. Simple is beautiful, right?

Make your life simple and peaceful by keeping these attitudes in mind:

Gratitude for the past. Be grateful for everything and everyone, good or bad, in your past.
Trust in the future. Learn to surrender all your plans and worries to God.
Love in the present. Do your best now in expressing your love and you will have no regrets about the past.

Spreading The Good News

There is a story about a barber who gave a free haircut to a German. The next day, he received a basket of sausages made in Frankfurt outside his door. After giving a Japanese also a free haircut, the barber found a bottle of "sake", a rice-based alcoholic beverage, outside his door.

He gave a Filipino a free haircut and, the next day, what did the barber find? Ten more Filipinos who received and were sending text messages about a barber giving a free haircut. c",)

Always spread the GOoD news wherever we are, wherever we go.

Anak Ng Tupa

anak ng tupa
There is an interesting story about a gunman who barged into a church one Sunday morning during the service and then called out: "Those of you here who are willing to die for Christ, step forward!"

Most of the faithful ran out in panic, but a few, too scared and stiff, stayed behind. Then the gunman said: "All right Father. The hypocrites are gone. Now you may start the Mass."

What if your were in that church? What if you were the priest in that church? Would you have run away?

Hurry, Worry, Bury

Somebody once said that the lives of people these days can be summed up in three words: hurry, worry, bury. A lot of people are in a hurry and carry a lot of worry, and so, find themselves early in the cemetery. It's time for us to rediscover the three R's in life: Relax, Reflect, Renew.

Statistics show that people's worries can be summed up thus: Things that never happened (40%); things that have happened and cannot be changed (30%); petty and needless worries (22%); legitimate worries which are beyond one's control (8%). So what are you worried about?

Joke Time

Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?

Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.

* * *

A man is talking to God.

Man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it’s about a minute.
Man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it’s a penny.
Man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.

* * *

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”

* * *

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

* * *

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

* * *

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.
“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No.” replied the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl.

“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.

* * *

Teacher: Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?
Student: A heart attack.

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