Engineers VS Lawyers

Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers bought a ticket while the three engineers bought only one ticket.

“How can the three of you travel on one ticket?” asked a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answered an engineer.

Aboard the train the lawyers took their respective seats while all three engineers crammed into the restroom and squeezed the door behind them.

A Pencil-Eraser Moment


One day, a conversation between a pencil and an eraser took place. A moment which reminds me of my parents love.

Pencil: I'm sorry, eraser.
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time you do it.
Eraser:  That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate to see you sad.

Parents are like the eraser whereas we, children are the pencil. Parents will always be there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way they get hurt, and become smaller.

Take care of your parents and treat them with kindness. Because soon, you will be an eraser too.

Remember to KISS

As you go through life, don't forget to KISS (Keep It Simple STUPID!) Don't complicate your life, your relationships, your lifestyle. Simple is beautiful, right?

Make your life simple and peaceful by keeping these attitudes in mind:

Gratitude for the past. Be grateful for everything and everyone, good or bad, in your past.
Trust in the future. Learn to surrender all your plans and worries to God.
Love in the present. Do your best now in expressing your love and you will have no regrets about the past.

Spreading The Good News

There is a story about a barber who gave a free haircut to a German. The next day, he received a basket of sausages made in Frankfurt outside his door. After giving a Japanese also a free haircut, the barber found a bottle of "sake", a rice-based alcoholic beverage, outside his door.

He gave a Filipino a free haircut and, the next day, what did the barber find? Ten more Filipinos who received and were sending text messages about a barber giving a free haircut. c",)

Always spread the GOoD news wherever we are, wherever we go.

Anak Ng Tupa

anak ng tupa
There is an interesting story about a gunman who barged into a church one Sunday morning during the service and then called out: "Those of you here who are willing to die for Christ, step forward!"

Most of the faithful ran out in panic, but a few, too scared and stiff, stayed behind. Then the gunman said: "All right Father. The hypocrites are gone. Now you may start the Mass."

What if your were in that church? What if you were the priest in that church? Would you have run away?



Hurry, Worry, Bury

Somebody once said that the lives of people these days can be summed up in three words: hurry, worry, bury. A lot of people are in a hurry and carry a lot of worry, and so, find themselves early in the cemetery. It's time for us to rediscover the three R's in life: Relax, Reflect, Renew.

Statistics show that people's worries can be summed up thus: Things that never happened (40%); things that have happened and cannot be changed (30%); petty and needless worries (22%); legitimate worries which are beyond one's control (8%). So what are you worried about?

Joke Time


Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?

Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.

* * *

A man is talking to God.

Man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it’s about a minute.
Man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it’s a penny.
Man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.

* * *

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”

* * *

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

* * *

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

* * *

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.
“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No.” replied the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl.

“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.

* * *

Teacher: Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?
  
Student: A heart attack.

Breakfast Moment: Seeing God Moment

Breakfast Moment: Seeing God Moment: A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing G...

Flowers, now...

As I watch the TV about the Halloween celebration, I just wonder, when was the last time we gave flowers to a loved one?

Why is it that we usually wait for a person to die before we give flowers? Nice, but sayang! It's really a pity to see all those beautiful flowers just go to waste, when in fact they would have been so welcomed and so appreciated by the person when he/she was still alive.

Little things mean a lot. Love them now while they are still alive. Do not postpone your loving. Do not wait for the grave...

Happy Halloween! Please subscribe here to breakfast moment.

Active and Passive

The difference between active income and passive income is somewhat like the difference between planting vegetables and planting fruit trees.

With vegetables, you get to prepare the land, sow, fertilize, water, harvest and sell them within weeks, but you have keep doing it or your income stops. That’s active income.

With fruit trees, you prepare the land, sow, fertilize, water, but you have to wait 3 years before it starts to bear fruit and you can harvest and sell it.

What’s the difference then?

Well, for me, the difference is you need only to do it right once! After the fruit trees bear fruit, you just have do a little maintenance (like watering and adding fertilizer) and you get all the fruits you want! This is passive income.

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One Step

Foolish people, like me, with all their other thoughts, have this one too: They are always getting ready to live, but never living.

My success will start when I begin to pursue it. To reach my goal or to attain success, I don’t need to know all of the answers in advance. I just need to have a clear idea of what my goal is.

Don’t procrastinate when faced with difficult problems. I'll break my problems into parts, and handle one part at a time.

Develop tendencies toward taking action. I can make something happen right now. I'll divide my big plan into small steps and take that first step right away.

Everyone who ever got where they are had to begin where they were. My big opportunity is where I am right now.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. I'll take it.

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Chocolates More Than Girls

I was chatting with my third-grader son when he told me that he had a huge crush on a classmate. So for their Intramurals' opening day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into school. When we chat the next day, I found him on the couch eating the same box of chocos.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like chocolates more than girls." Haha! This made me laugh...

Son, I want you to know that I love you so much more than anything and anyone else.

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Breakfast Moment: The Expectant Father

Breakfast Moment: The Expectant Father: Three men were sitting in the waiting room of a hospital. The nurse walks over to the first one and says, "Congratulations! You're the fathe...

Breakfast Moment: Who's The Boss

Breakfast Moment: Who's The Boss: A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage. ...

Breakfast Moment: The Power of Words

Breakfast Moment: The Power of Words: A husband who always came home late at night would always try to make up by greeting his wife: "How is the beautiful mother of my three wond...

Monkey Business

If you give banana to a monkey, I'm sure you know what he'll do. He'll grab the fruit, climb as fast as he can to get away from you, and from up there, he will sneer and jeer at you while he hurriedly and voraciously consume his banana.

Give him a banana the next day, and he'll do exactly the same thing. If you give him a banana again the day after that, he'll probably do the same thing. What an ungreatful creature...

After all, he is a monkey and will act like a monkey. But there are people who are selfish and ungreatful, like the monkey.

Be good. Be a blessing. Don't be a monkey.

Share this to all the good and the monkey. And subscribe here to Breakfast Moment.

Selected Quotes About Love

“Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.” -David Wilkerson

“Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow.” -John Lennon

“Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.” -St. Augustine

“Love is when each person is more concerned for the other than for one’s self.” -David Frost

“A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.” -Fr. Jerome Cummings

“All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough. ” -Pierre de Beaumarchais

“Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.” -Kahlil Gibran

“The first duty of love is to listen.” -Paul Tillich

“The love we give away is the only love we keep.” -Elbert Green Hubbard

“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.” -Thomas Fuller

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Franklin P. Jones

“Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same.” -Helen Keller

If you love this post, you will share it and subscribe here to Breakfast Moment... c",)

Nuggets of Wisdom

1. Be kind to yourself.
2. Looking good is feeling good inside.
3. You're not out to please everbody.
4. Expect little, but do your best and dream big.
5. Smiling is healthy.
6. Laugh your heart out.
7. Live light and keep it simple.
8. Failure is a good starting point.
9. You're blessed, so don't forget to say thanks.
10. GOD answers.

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Si Papa Bear

Walking through the forest, an atheist hears a rustling in the bushes. Turning, he sees a massive grizzly charging towards him! He runs as fast as he can but trips over a stump and falls. As the bear raises a huge paw to strike, the atheist screams: "God! Help me!"

Time freezes. The bear becomes immobile, the forest is silent, and the river stops running. Then the atheist hears a powerful voice: "You have denied my existence for years, taught others I don't exist and credited my creation to a cosmic accident. Why should I help you?"

"It would be hypocritical to ask you to show mercy on me," the atheist agrees. "But perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

At that, the noise of the forest resumes, the river runs, and the bear drops to its knees, brings its paws together, and says, "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."

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Being Significant

Are you a successful person? Congratulations! But are you a significant person?

A successful person is one who earns and accumulates wealth or honors for himself. On the other hand, a significant person is one who, with or without wealth or honors, affects positively the people around him/her.

Indeed, a person is worth not for what he/she has, not even for who he/she is, but, but for what others have become because of him/her.

Ten Lessons for Success

1. Expect to win. Know in your heart that you are a winner.

2. Let your expectations show. Express no doubts, let your competitors and your friends know  that you have none.

3. Work, practice, work, and practice some more. Remember that pracrice makes perfect.

4. Dress and act like a winner. This is a part of keeping yourself in a winning frame of mind.

5. Have a sense of drama - don't create it but know it when you see it. You don't have to seek out publicity, but know how to accept  and use it when it comes to you.

6. Know that there is always room to grow. Being the best does not mean you can't be even better.

7. Hang with the winners. They understand the pressures and situations in which you will  find yourself.

8. Put yourself in situations where you are not known as a success. May be difficult, but this helps you to stay real.

9. Value and protect your free time and do what you enjoy. The discipline of being a winner needs a safety valve from time to time.

10. Remember those who need help. Somewhere, someone helped you - be willing to give back.

Held By Jesus

The story is told about an atheist couple who had a son. Both parents never told their child about God or about Jesus. One night, the couple had a fight where the father shot the mother and then shot himself. It all happened in front of the child.

The child was sent to a foster home.

One day, in Sunday school, the teacher held up a picture of Jesus and asked if anyone knew who it was. The child in the story raised his hands and said: "That's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

"Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, Lord, for You are with me." Psalm 23:4

The Matchbox Story

The story is told that there was once a family of matchsticks that lived miserably inside the dark matchbox.

One day, one of the matchsticks fell down when the matchbox was opened. He saw what the other members of his family were longing for - bright light. He also saw a man take out two matchsticks from the box. The first one was used by the man as a toothpick, the other for cleaning the ears! But his greatest joy was when he saw the man get another matchstick, strike it, and behold came forth the light! "My gosh," he said. "The light we have been looking for and longing for, is within us! I must go back to my family and tell them the good news."

According to the story, the man saw the matchstick, picked it up from the floor and returned it to the matchbox.  His message was: "The light is within us!" Some believed him, some did not.

"You are the light of the world... your light must shine before man so that they may see goodness in your acts and give praise to your Heavenly Father." -Mathew 5:14-16

No Worries!

Another powerful video that shows a beautiful story about such a wonderful person. And this is dedicated to all the people who complains a lot.

Jesus saves and comforts those that love Him!

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. (Psalm 100)

'It's None of My Business'

One day, a mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. He was devastated to discover that it was a mousetrap. The mouse told all his animal friends: “There is a mousetrap in the house!”

The chicken said, “Mr. Mouse, I’m so sorry to hear that, but that’s not my problem.” Being charismatic, the chicken said, “I’ll pray for you…”

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, “There is a mousetrap in the house!” The pig said, “I’m so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it.”

The mouse turned to the cow and said, “There is a mousetrap in the house!” The cow said, “Wow, Mr. Mouse. I’m sorry for you, but it’s not my problem.”

So, the mouse returned to the house, dejected.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house – the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife went out. In the darkness, she did not see it. It was a poisonous snake whose tail was caught in the trap. And the snake bit the farmer’s wife.

She developed a fever. The doctor said “She needs chicken soup.” So the farmer took his knife for the soup’s main ingredient: Chicken!

But his wife’s sickness continued. Friends and neighbors came to visit. To feed them, the farmer thought of serving them pork adobo. So the pig had to go.

But, alas, the farmer’s wife did not get well… She died. Many people came for her funeral. And the farmer had to slaughter the cow to feed all of them…

The lesson? Don’t ever say, “It’s none of my business.” We are indelibly, intricately connected with each other. When our brother is in pain, we should be in pain too.

It’s easy to do something good for someone who can pay you back. But when you do something good for someone who can’t pay you back, the Lord will pay you back.

The Bible says, Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done. (Proverbs 19:17)

The Power of Words

A powerful video on how the words we use make all the difference in the way others see and perceive us in life.

Change your words.
Change your world.

Asking God, 'Why Me?'

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player, was dying of AIDS. He contracted HIV during the blood transfusions he had received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From all over the world, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: “Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease?”

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

“The world over, 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, and 2 make it to the finals.


When I was holding a cup, I never asked GOD ‘Why me?’ And today, in pain, I should not be asking GOD ‘Why me?’”

Stunning Diamond Ring

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check.

"I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

Cat's Home

A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right
again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?”

“Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”

Frustrated, the man answered, “Put that cat on the phone, I’m lost and need directions!”

Driving Slow

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 25 KPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-Five kilometers an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “25″ was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.

“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 299.”

A Good and Honorable Reason

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?"the Lord asked. "Yes", he replied.

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord.

It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Angelina Jolie, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Angelina Jolie."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others MOSTLY his wife!

Top Management

This is how you should recruit people into a business - the easy way.

Just put about 100 bricks, in no particular order, in a closed room with an open window. Then send two or three candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after six hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.

If they are sleeping, put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet no brick has been moved, put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day, put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window, put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least, if they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.

15 Funny Q and A's

Questions:
1. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
2. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
3. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
4. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
5. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
6. Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
7. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
8. What often falls but never gets hurt?
9. What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be?
10. What looks like half apple?
11. What can you never eat for breakfast?
12. What three letters change a girl into a woman?
13. What happened when wheel was invented?
14. Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
15. Why does a bike rest on its leg?

Answers:
1. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
2. No time at all; it is already built.
3. Very large hands.
4. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
5. He sleeps at night.
6. Because he is dead.
7. It becomes wet.
8. Rain.
9. Tomorrow.
10. The other half.
11. Dinner.
12. AGE
13. It caused a revolution.
14. Because it has its own scales.
15. Because it is too tyred.






Today's Definition

YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.

TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later on.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

FATHER: A banker provided by nature.

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions.







"SUPPLIES!!"

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site.

The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."

The foreman went away for a couple of hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled... "SUPPLIES!!"

Your Daily Laws

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach

And lastly, BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

God Will Save Doms

There was a very religious man named Doms, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Doms was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Doms to get in the boat with him.

Doms said, “No, that’s okay. God will take care of me.” So, the man in the boat drove off.

The water rose higher, so Doms climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Doms to get in.

Doms replied, “No, that’s okay. God will take care of me.” The person in the boat then left.

The water rose even more, and Doms climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Doms to climb up the ladder and get in.

Doms said, “That’s okay.” The woman said, “Are you sure?”

Doms replied, “Yeah, I’m sure God will take care of me.”

Finally, the water rose too high and Doms drowned. Doms got to heaven and was face-to-face with God.

Doms said to God, “You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?”

God replied, “Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?”

11 Things That You Can Tell Your Boss

1.  Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing.

2.  If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That greatly aids my efficiency.

3.  Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4.  If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I might need to learn how to function as a paraplegic (complete paralysis of the lower half of the body including both legs, usually caused by damage to the spinal cord) in future and opening doors is good training.

5.  If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

6.  Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7.  If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could get me a promotion.

8.  If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.

9.  If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done.

10.  Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life.

11. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.



The Bull's Shit

Sorry about the title folks, but here's how the story's all about.

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. c",)

What Is Courage?

A psychology professor at the University of the Philippines knew his students expected a terrifyingly long final exam. To play with their minds a little (what do you expect from a psychology professor?) he only put ONE question on the final exam.

He watched the reactions of the students as they all opened the exams and saw the one question.

Initially they all looked relieved, but as the difficulty of the question began to sink in, those relieved faces sagged to confusion and consternation. All, that is, except for one student.

He read the question, tapped his pencil into his palm a few times, then jotted something down on the test paper.

He walked up to the professor, handed him the final, and walked out.

The professor blinked in surprise, looked at what the student wrote, and smiled.

The professor wrote "100%" on the top of that student's test.

The question: What is courage?
The student's answer: This is.

Brain Teasers

1.  There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

2.  A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

3.  A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?

4.  There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?

5.  Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

6.  There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. How did Sloppy die?

7.  How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?

8.  If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first? Same question, but the location is in Canada?

9.  What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.

10.  What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up?

11.  If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?

12.  What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

Answers
1.  Incorrectly.
2.  1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.
3.  None, the boat rises with the tide. Duh.
4.  White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the north pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.
5.  Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.
6.  Sloppy is a goldfish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.
7.  None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you don't even know how much air is in the hole.)
8.  Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...
9,  The time and month/date/year are 12:34, 5/6/78.
10.  An umbrella.
11.  One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
12.  The temperature.

Tired Construction Worker

A tired construction worker paused for a little rest. A younger man walked past him, laughed and said: "What happened old man, not enough muscle to push that wheelbarrow anymore?" He stopped and showed his biceps which were very impressive to say the least.

The other workers looked at the young man disapprovingly. Too often he was making fun of the older men. Still they tried to put it to the thoughtlessness of the youth.

Where have your biceps disappeared, grandpa? Shouldn´t you go and search for them? Don´t see much filling your sleeves!

Enough was enough. The tired worker straightened his back and looked at the sneering young man straight in the eye. So you say you have all the muscle you need to push this wheelbarrow and anything in it? Of course! the young man proudly said. Wanna bet?

Actually yes, the older man said. I´ll bet a whole days wages that I can push something in this wheelbarrow to that warehouse over there. And the bet is something you, with all your muscle, can´t push back.

Well, it´s your loss, I´m in! the young man laughed; easiest money I have made!

You witnessed the bet? The older man asked the others around them and nodded. He then turned to the young man, pushed the wheelbarrow towards him and said, ok, hop in!

Lesson: You can't teach an old dog with new tricks.

You Reap What You Sow

I love watching the show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition where they award a deserving family with a major house renovation. Chosen families are usually those who have been selfless in giving, thus, making them an inspiration to their community. It’s no surprise then to see the heaps of people volunteering to help out in the show’s renovation project. It’s their way of thanking the family for touching the hearts of those around them. It’s so heartwarming to see boundless caring flowing freely through demonstrated generosity.

We live in a world that constantly tell us life is difficult, thus resulting to a mindset of wanting more, getting more and holding on to our possession. This further leads to a mentality that we would never have enough to share with others.

But this is so untrue. There are many ways we can give and help. God gave us a lot of resources like material wealth, time and talent which are meant to be shared. It is only when we learn to share that we can expect to be blessed with more because God is able to give us back much more than what we are capable of giving out.

“Give and gifts will be given to you.” –Luke 6:38

Benefits of Struggling

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small, shrinked wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrinked wings.

It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and carelessness did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly.

Optimist Prime

In study after study, psychologists have determined that “optimism” is the most important quality you can develop for personal and professional success and happiness. It seems that optimists have three special behaviors, all learned through practice and repition.

1. Optimists look for the good in every situation. No matter what goes wrong, they always look for something good or beneficial. And not surprisingly, they alwasy seem to find it.

2. Optimists always seek the valuable lesson in every setback or difficulty. They believe that "difficulties come not to obstrcut, but to instruct". They believe that each setback or obstacle contains a valuable lesson they can learn and grow from, and they are determined to find it.

3. Optimist always look for the solution to every problem. Instead of blaiming or complaining when things go wrong, they become action oriented. They ask questions like, "What's the solution? What can we do now? What's the next step?"

In addition, people who are habitually optimistic, positive and upbeat think and talk continually about their goals. They think and talk about the future and where they are going rather than the past and where they came from. They are always looking forward rather than backward.

When you continually visualize your goals and ideals and talk to yourself in a positive way, you feel more focused and energized. You feel more confident and creative. You experience a greater sense of control and personal power.
 
And the more positive and motivated you feel, the more eager you are to get started and the more determined you are to keep going.

Back to School in Dubai

It's back to school here in Dubai. To add up to that daily routine, here are some stories that may lighten up your day.

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school."

"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the School Principal!"

***

When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Dominick is leaving?"

The third grader opined, "Because she's read all our books?"

***

Teacher: Aldrin, give me a sentence starting with I.

Aldrin: I is...

Teacher: No, Aldrin. Always say, "I am..."

Aldrin: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

10 Breakfast Business Quotes


Running a business is like riding on a roller coaster. Although it is fun and exciting, there will be times when you’ll be scared and feel powerless. During the bad times there isn’t much you can do, other than to keep on pushing forward.

So in that spirit, here are 10 breakfast business quotes that will motivate you to push forward.

1. My son is now an ‘entrepreneur’. That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job. -Ted Turner

2. The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try. Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it. -Debbi Fields

3. I had to make my own living and my own opportunity! But I made it! Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come. Get up and make them! -C.J. Walker

4. The winners in life think constantly in terms of I can, I will, and I am. Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have or would have done, or what they can’t do. - Dennis Waitley

5. The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It’s as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer. -Nolan Bushnell

6. The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try. Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it. -Debbi Fields

7. I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. -Donald Trump

8. Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. -Vince Lombardi

9. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later. -Harold Geneen

10. Having a business is like having a facebook game and money is how I keep the score. That makes it a more exciting game. -Melvin de Guzman

Do you know of any other good motivational business quotes?

The Bored Angels


“Tsismisology” reports say that there are three angelic departments in heaven: the PRD, APDD and TRDD. In the Prayer Receiving Department (PRD), angels are busier than a call center. They receive prayers by thousands every millisecond. Once packaged, they will deliver it to the Answered Prayer Delivery Department. APDD receives all the prayers and submits them to the Heavenly CEO. Once approved, they deliver God’s yes, no or wait. “Yes” means answered prayers are delivered promptly because the time is right and the recipients’ hearts are ready. “No” means replacement blessings are delivered instead. “Wait” means the opportunity to grow in virtue is delivered. Finally, in the Thanksgiving Receiving Department (TRD), angels are bored due to infrequent thanksgiving from earth. One thanksgiving makes them ecstatic and brings much joy to the CEO’s heart.

Dear reader, make the TRD busy again: count your blessings, offer thanksgiving Mass, share blessings with friends and bring joy to the heart of God. He is waiting for you, patiently...

Blessed Little Children

A Kindergarten teacher was observing the children in her classroom while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
* * *
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer." or "There's Michael, he's a doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher... She's dead."
* * *
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes." the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright, in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
* * *
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun wrote a note and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."


Matthew 18:5 And Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

Something To Share

Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.

Do you know why a car’s windshield is so large & the rearview mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. Look ahead and move on.

Friendship is like a book. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.

Old friends are gold! New friends are diamond! If you get a diamond, don’t forget the gold! Because to hold a diamond, you always need a base of gold!

Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, my son, it’s just a bend, not the end!

When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

A blind person asked Swami Vivekanand: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!”

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

WORRYING does not take away tomorrows‘ TROUBLES, it takes away todays’ PEACE.

If you share this breakfast moment post, your day will be blessed... c",)
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The Flying Turtle


Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.

Once he'd recovered, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell once more to the ground.

He tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate and said. "Do you know what, darling? I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Determination Quotes:

A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. 

A failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.

Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms, carry out your plan.

Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek.

Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances.

Lessons Learned From Soul Surfer

If you just read and looked at the title, you might think that this is just a simple surfing and sharks story. But Jesus collided with the Soul Surfer. This is not just a true story either, this is actually a true story. The characters here are based on real life and the story is based on real fact.


Bethany (Anna Sophia Robb) was born to surf. A natural talent who took to the waves at a young age, she was leading an idyllic life on Kauai, participating in national surf competitions with her best friend Alana (Lorraine Nicholson), when everything changed.


On Halloween morning, a 14-foot tiger shark came out of nowhere and seemed to shatter all her dreams. Soul Surfer reveals Bethany's fight to recover from her ordeal and how she grappled with the question of her future. Strengthened by the love of her parents, Tom (Dennis Quaid) and Cheri (Helen Hunt), and supported by her youth group leader Sara (Carrie Underwood), Bethany refuses to give in or give up, and begins a bold return to the water.


Lesson learned? Did you ever wonder why people advises you to trust your instinct, to listen, and to follow it? It's because that's the moment when God starts to talk to you...
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25 Beautiful Short Phrases

1. Give God what's right... not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to hopeless end... God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions... just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message... His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead... It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily... walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride... he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the dark room in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men... You catch them and He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.


Lord God thanks for everything. Please bless the person reading this in whatever it is that You know he or she may be needing this moment. Amen.
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Walk By Faith, Not By Sight

We move in faith every day. We ride a car whose makers we have never met. We drive our vehicle beside cars, bus, trailer trucks whose drivers’ skill we are not certain about.


We function with faith every day. We enter a building even if we’re not sure that it won’t collapse. We sit on a chair trusting that it will hold our weight. We eat in a restaurant believing that what they serve is not toxic.


We operate by faith every day. When we get sick we go to a doctor whose name we cannot pronounce and whose degrees we have never verified. He gives us a prescription we cannot read. We take it to a pharmacist who gives us a chemical compound we do not understand. Then we go home and take the medicine, trusting that we will get well.


If we can trust people and things we are uncertain of, then we sure can have faith in a God whom we are sure of. Jesus is the Great Healer. (And you can easily pronounce His name). Jesus is the Sure Driver. (He is the Way, the Truth and the Life). He stands with us at all times. (He is the Firm Foundation). You can rest in His loving arms. (He makes you lie down in green pastures).


Enjoy living daily with Jesus. Live by faith! Enjoy your breakfast moment.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for. – Hebrews 11:1
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ISA for All

  • A True Friend - All we need is a little bit of everything and a whole lot of ISA. Sometimes you will feel upset when a mutual friend supported someone else’s point of view...